hair activism is sexy.

there's a war going on & only dark people know about it. this war is over hair; not just hair color but hair length, hair texture, hair history and what inevitably becomes hair politics. is it chemically straight? european silky? happily nappy? or yakky? do you press it? wrap it? flip it? stitch it? or relax it?

now, you see, my mother has always been partial to the bourgie, must-have-been-born-in-DC bob. you know the look--strands that fall carefully around the face, no highlights, no life, just bourgie. my mother is "blessed" with what they call "good hair." let it be known that i abhor the phrases blessed and good hair. they're rooted in two things--the europeanization of black americans both aesthetically and religiously--but that's another manifesto. my mother got more daring each passing year---she has gotten a shag, layers, and many shades of color at the thought of going gray.

i, too, have what they call good hair. i got my first relaxer at 4. they say that memory begins at 4. put plainly, i do not remember the texture of my natural hair. i've seen one eighties style snapshot with the edges rounded off & the color distorted. the photographer could not capture all of my hair in the photo. for the last 16 years, my hair has swung in the wind like white girls.

each time i went to your local black hair care salon, i came out looking the same. last summer, i asked for a sidesweeping bang & i came out looking like sheila e. at 14, i asked my stylist to cut it all off & he refused. i got my first substantial hair change this fall when a stylist gave me highlights and a razored bob. i had braids for a minute one summer & cornrows with beads every summer during camp.

being the only black girl in a sea of white classmates meant that i endured a lot of stupid questions. i allowed people to touch, offered explanations, and provided justifications. as children, that's fine. in adulthood, we should all know better. so to the white boy with 3 inches of silky strands i offer this, "no, i don't know how to cornrow. try another negra." further, do not ask me if my hair will form into an afro. no reason necessary, just don't.

i'm a bit tired of my hair's lack of creativity. it's time for change. too often, young black girls get to college, get political, and get rid of their "oppressive hairstyles." this might not be the revelation revolutionaries are looking for, but i just want a head of wild hair. please believe that my "natural" style will be as costly & time consuming as any chemical relaxer.

this is an experiment in aesthetics.